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coldplay released a new single (and nobody cared)

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As you all know, coldplay released a new song the other day called Every Teardrop is a Waterfall. But unlike Viva la Veda or whatever their last song was that I heard in the Pepperdine caf at least 500 times as a freshman, no one has been talking about it. Its definitely not been on my facebook news feed. Trust me I would have seen it. It would have been some like, “OMGZ NEW COLDPLAY!!! MY LYFE IS COMPLETE!!111” with the song posted. Like this 

Despite this song being written by Chris Martin, Brian Eno and 5 other guys, this song sucks. Its like almost electronic for the first 5 seconds, then some Katy Perry-esque lyrics pop in, but then Christ Martin is singing it.

I TURN THE MUSIC UP, I GOT MY RECORDS ON
I SHUT THE WORLD OUTSIDE UNTIL THE LIGHTS COME ON
MAYBE THE STREETS ALIGHT, MAYBE THE TREES ARE GONE
I FEEL MY HEART START BEATING TO MY FAVOURITE SONG

Okay Rebecca Black we get it. You’re in your room listening to your favorite song. Big Deal. At least your not talking about eating cereal. Of course the song continues and by continues I mean it gets worse. Its got this rhythm from a 90’s spanish dance song. Here I’ll show you. The video is even better than the song and the song is pretty bad, but better than coldplays. 

And that spanish dance song got its rhythm from this even worse but hilarious 70’s song. Called I Go to Rio. Or maybe both the songs are based off of this one. I don’t know. All I know is that it was annoying the first time so why copy it again and again. 

Anyway, in coldplays version of I Go to Rio theres like a really gaudy 80’s guitar riff that chimes in eventually and just never stops. We all remember the time when the guitar was THE instrument, but now its not. Music has gotten more musical in that it employs different instruments that work together instead of just letting the guitar shred. The guitar takes a backseat in this song, but its the same riff over and over and over for like the whole song. God man have some variation please.

The song seems to fade through like every genre of music and finally ends like an MGMT song, in that the last phrase is repeated a million times.

OH
IT WAS A WA WA WA WA WA-ATERFALL
A WA WA WA WA WA-ATERFALL

EVERY TEAR
EVERY TEAR
EVERY TEARDROP IS A WATERFALL

EVERY TEAR
EVERY TEAR
EVERY TEARDROP IS A WATERFALL

Yes yes we all get it. A tear drop is like a waterfall, because a tear is mostly water and its falling down your face. Whatever coldplay. Don’t get me wrong, I used to like you, but this song sucks. You’ve had 4 albums already, even though the 2 middle ones were like the same album repeated. Give it a rest. Its over. No one cares. Obviously.

This one was almost relevant to society!

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Written by masonhankins

June 8, 2011 at 6:24 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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